one of my all time favourite drama. i will always remember this drama. not the typical love story ending. it ends with bittersweet happiness. these scene is the best ever. 

i was brought up with rules in my life. and these rules are set up by me.

i was never force to choose a certain school, education, friends or even the interest i had. i was brought up in a way, where we learned how to be sensible. initially, i thought this was weird but as i grow up i was thankful. and along the way of growing up, no one told me there are certain rules and regulations i should follow. as a person, i know i had to put some rules in order not to lose myself.

maybe that's why from school, close friends jokingly call me the Discipline Mistress. the funny thing, i wasn't that discipline in school if you see my attendance and studies records.

and when i give advices, i never thought of myself highly or expect them to follow. my reminder will always be that follow whatever you want to do, and make sure you do it all your best for your happiness. but never forget the loved ones around you. the one who stood silently to cheer you on. and the one who put themselves aside to wipe your tears when you're down. and especially to the ones who listen to your dreams and never laugh at it and trust you.

i might have some rules which others don't understand and i might at times apply these rules onto others life. but that's just cos i love them dearly and i treasure these people. but it's hard to get appreciated. but i know for sure, no matter how bad the situation would be or how much the world will go against them, i would gladly reach out my hand, and be there for them.

i love listening to stories from people. especially stories that is inspirational. i'm not easily influenced by friends with their way of living or the cool people. i'm influenced from the happiness in a movie, and the strength from others' stories.

today i was listening to a friend's story about how things were not expecting the way it is, and the little hiccups that appear before the happiness. and knowing how the future is going to be tough. but eventhough she looks worried, i could tell she was braving herself to go through this because she has chose this path. really inspirational. i keep asking her if she ever felt scared, but she said that it just happens. and i smiled.

i always look around my surrounding to learn to grow up. looking at my dad, my siblings, i learnt from them unknowingly. i'm glad i'm brought up this way.

i still want to be with you .....

another of my favourite song. the lyrics are meaningful.

one of my all time favourite song. i know it doesn't fits my image but i'm someone like this who enjoys this kind of songs.

i remember when i was told to choose a destination. someday, when time permits.

really really wants to go here for may. just like as the initial plan. but seems like this plan wont ever work out. seems like i have to make this work myself. even if it means only myself.

my sister just told me that two or three days ago, i was talking to myself in sleep. having my own conversation. i must be really stress or too sick. or maybe bit of both.

when you're sick, your brain doesn't function quite well and you tend to make the wrong decisions or say the wrong words. ive been like this lately and im pretty dissapointed in myself. i got to do better.

can someone really completely let go of their past? in the middle of the night, here i am thinking of this topic. 

“I’m going to smile and make you think I’m happy, I’m going to laugh, so you don’t see me cry, I’m going to let you go in style, and even if it kills me- I’m going to smile”

"The greatest victory has been to be able to live with myself, to accept my shortcomings...I'm a long way from the human being I'd like to be. But I've decided I'm not so bad after all." - Audrey Hepburn

“The beauty of a woman is not in a facial mole,but true beauty in a Woman is reflected in her soul. It is the caring that she lovingly gives, the passion that she knows.” 
― Audrey Hepburn 

“The best thing to hold onto in life is each other.” 
― Audrey Hepburn 

“Your heart just breaks, that's all. But you can't judge or point fingers. You just have to be lucky enough to find someone who appreciates you.” 
― Audrey Hepburn 

“I was born with an enormous need for affection, and a terrible need to give it.” 
― Audrey Hepburn 

“My greatest ambition is to have a career without becoming a career woman.” 
― Audrey Hepburn 

“Everything I learned I learned from the 
movies.” 
― Audrey Hepburn 

morning fresh air in the park

so it wasn't really a morning but today weather was really good. went to sit by the lake and keep replaying Time Machine in my ears. inside the train, the moment i look up at the sky, i knew its a weather i should not miss. i didn't regret though. its so calm that i managed to sort out my thoughts. my wants, my needs, my priorities, myself and most importantly, of how i should do it. i must always always remind myself that i need to take one step at a time cos i only hand one pair of hands to help myself in case i stumble and fall.

for an hour plus, i sat there watching the unchanging weather and the constant movements of joggers and families, randomly walking with their dogs.

im the type who doesn't believe in regretting and going back in time to change what has been done. but out of sudden, i was wishing for a time machine. to be able to replay back so i could make use of all the time we had to shape more memories. i never once regretted anything that has happen or the decision i made. because on the same date, i told myself "if i don't grab this, i will regret. cos its my choice to explore and know of better".

there are more paths in life, more roads we could walk on. they say, keep on walking, and continue to go further.

"This Means War"

Fish Manhanttan 

this is super weird. up till now, i still find it a miracle that we can talk instead of arguing. the whole world would probably be asking me the big question of "WHY?". and each time, im stucked, not knowing what to say.

no idea if it got something to do with me growing older or maybe, i finally thought the world isnt so bad afterall. of course, never did i once ever give up in this emotion called "LOVE" because it would be silly. everyone do have their experiences, be it good or bad but to give up on it is just pure silly. and now suddenly, out of the blue, appears this deep emotion that suddenly makes me feel ........

curious.

initially, he wasnt going to be anywhere in my list. or even as anywhere close. the arguements we had were pure silly and can change into something serious. to simply put in words, i find the whole situation ANNOYING. :) well me, being me, is the type who shh! when someone gets noisy or tsk! when someone throws a little on ground or scream! when someone doesnt listen to me. and to meet someone, whom get arguement with me just over the first five minutes, is definitely not fun.

but one day. one sunny fine day. while walking on the rocky waterbay, came up a conversation. SURPRISE! a conversation about life and everything else. someone is talking, and the other is listening. i remember thinking "why is this so relaxing? are we actually really talking? to the person whom i tell myself that i wont want to be friends with?" they say life is unpredictable. well i say, life is SUPER UNPREDICTABLE, with a little twist of miracle and magical!

i always believe there was something special. something different. because this is the first time i couldnt explain of why do i wanted this so much.