dinner & movie with great bunch
rose |
0 rose(s) on your door
REEN
03 May
Taurus
might be slow moving
but that's relaxing.....
nature, park and fresh flowers
makes me smile.....
♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
relieved
i feel relieved talking to one of my girlfriend. now she knows exactly what im going through. the fear and the worry i have. its really not a small issue. its my future.
she told me not to think and dont stress myself and have enough rest and balance diet. i know its cliche but those words coming out from her is true. she has seen me since i was 13. the age where i was moody and always angry and wasn't putting much effort in study like im suppose to. even after we graduate and separate to different school, we didnt contact much. after going to working world, where my depression hits in, she knows how tough it was and how i was struggling with finding my own identity in this society. despites that, she didnt despise or look down or me. i wasnt the smart student or the best moodmaker among friends, i was just a sad girl at that moment.
when things start to change when i start to hold my own destiny, when i work hard to get the job and put in effort and begin to start studying again... i can see the surprise they have in their eyes. the fact i wasnt getting angry that much, the fact i was laughing much more, the fact that i was serious about life and the fact that i was looking forward to life and planning on my future. she and the other girls remind me of how much sadness i had before in my life.
right now im reading a nice book and its really nice. teaching us that working hard may probably not be the answer to our future.
steps
seems like this time i have to take not just ten steps back, but twenty steps back.
i want to remind myself to go back to being naive and where its just pure communication of us getting to know each other.
we constantly have to remind ourselves what bring us both to the place we are now.
summarize love
a simple food with a great company will be the best memory ever. the fact that you popup from nowhere and rush to get a cake without a candle just to be with me at my midnight birthday ... that is enough to summarize the word LOVE
appreciative
i clearly know who i should appreciate and who doesn't appreciate me. this is bold.
thank you love for accompanying me and being there throughout. it might seem nothing but its a huge part of a life to me. without realizing, i've gain the courage.
thank you for my beloved friends who was there hearing my life frustrations and my life plans, and seeing me cry.
like i always tell my own self, no matter how tough it is, i will challenge it. slowly, slowly but i will go through it. i want to. because i want to learn to grow up everyday.
a fresh start
starting fresh and anew.
my mind has been chaotic since the early morning. so many questions inside my mind. unanswerable at that moment of time. not surprisingly 90% of my instinct were true, but there was a part of it that shocked me. which i did not prepare myself for.
while on the way home, as i look out the window and listening to random songs playing through the earphones, i keep thinking how am i suppose to accept the truth fact? i cried.
lay down on my bed staring at the ceiling for almost half an hour and told myself, there is only four priorities in my life right now. career, health, family, love. and there is two things i need to focus for the next few months till end of the year.
i begin to ask myself if any other emotions is needed. i have decided to ditched the unimportant emotions and focus on the two things and give as much love to my family and someone special. continue to keep improving with career and spending happy moments with my beloved friends.
if part of the future is determined, then i won't lose to fate. for the rest of the future, i will mould it with my own hands.
do you ever wonder
do you ever remember that moment where everything just changes into happiness and excitement?